Covert Narcissists — You Cannot Change Them
And there is great danger in trying
“I know a woman who possesses many of the traits you describe,” read a private note attached to my recent article Covert Narcissists — 7 Quotes to Empower Their Victims. “I know I can help her.”
NOOOOOOOOOO!
Believing you can help a covert narcissist is an extremely dangerous mindset to have. Acting on that mindset
- Almost certainly won’t make them any better
- Is very likely to damage you even more in the process
So don’t do it. Don’t even try!
You will become trauma bonded to the covert narcissist (if you’re not already)
According to Healthline, a trauma bond between the abuser and their victim “develops out of a repeated cycle of abuse, devaluation, and positive reinforcement.” It can cause a strong emotional attachment on the part of the victim to the abuser.
I had one to the covert narcissist who was so horrible to me.
I was excited to see her when she reappeared at my local speakeasy hangout three months after she discarded me — even though she was there to talk to every other person at the bar while ignoring me.
