Loosen a Narcissist’s Death Grip on Your Mind With 2 Powerful Words

Tiny words give you big leverage

Paul Ryburn, M.Sc.
5 min readJan 14, 2021


“I can’t get you out of my head.”

If you’ve been the victim of narcissistic abuse, that might well be your theme song.

It’s not that you don’t want to put the narcissist out of your mind — you definitely do. You probably wish there was a pill you could take to accomplish that mission, right now.

Even months, even after years of no contact, though, your mind drifts back to them. How could someone be so cruel, so heartless? How could someone attempt to destroy the life of a fellow human being and not even care? You can read books that logically explain the narcissist’s mindset at each step of the game, but logic is not enough to cool the emotions.

You can’t control the narcissist’s actions, but you can control your thoughts. Today we will look at two words that address your thoughts about the narcissist on an emotional level. The first word interrupts your train of thought. The second reframes the way you view the narcissist, taking away the power they still have over you in your mind.

A word to put thoughts of the narcissist out of mind — immediately

In his classic book You Were Born to Be Rich, Bob Proctor tells the story of another Bob, Bob Templeton, a vice-president of a communications company that owned many radio stations in Canada. Bob Templeton had an idea and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

A tornado had recently smashed Barrie, Ontario, a town about an hour north of Toronto. There were many deaths and millions of dollars in property damage. Templeton wanted to put together a 3–3–3 radiothon: 3 hours in length, 3 days in the future, to raise $3 million for the people of Barrie.

The trouble was that radio stations in Canada did not have a history of working together, their executives being quite competitive. Templeton called his team together and turned to a clean page on a flip chart. One side of the page was reserved for ideas “Why We Can” raise 3 million dollars. On the other side was “Why We Can’t.”



Paul Ryburn, M.Sc.

I write about writing, ideas, creativity, intuition, spirituality, life lessons. Ex-college teacher https://ko-fi.com/paulryburn Twitter: @paulryburn